I Know Who Killed Me
by Seraphina125
Summary: She is dead. He is numb. They are coming for him. Extremely AU ficlet inspired by 2x17 episode Heart.
1. Chapter 1

Whispers. Lies. Hot breath next to his ear. Bitterness on his tongue. Memories. Fear. That traitorous voice inside his head. Heavy guilt crushing his chest. _Madison._ Sapphire eyes behind closed eyelids. The gentle _thud_ as her body hits the ground. Shaking as he climbs out the window, apologies flowing from his lips. Body numb as he climbs up the building, collapsing on the roof with silent tears streaming down his face. He owes it to her to stay hidden, like she asked. He promised. The coldness sinks its hooks into his skin and does not let go. Small lumps of rocks dig into his back, sharp and painful. Grief still weighs down his heart and hopelessness clings to his bones. _(I will never go away)._ He felt pathetic. _(You are.)._ Can't breathe. Something is pressing down on his chest so that no oxygen _(She was your oxygen.)_ gets to his lungs. Clenching his eyes shut. Force the whirlwind of emotions down and lock it up. Calm _down_. Thumb pressing into his wound, fingernail cutting the tender skin. Blood spills down his wrist and drips onto the floor beneath him. Red stains white - blood and innocence.

She is dead. _(Your fault. Yours...)._ Taking a deep breath. Holding it in until his chest hurt. She died because she loved him, a coward who lies and runs from everything. Like he was doing now, pulling himself up in a daze and stumbling towards the metal door. Not caring about the blood on the roof; not caring about the red stains on his shirt; and not caring about the tear tracks on his face.

 _ **Asriel.**_ He stops dead in his tracks, unmoving. _**I know you can**_ _**hear me.**_ __Start running. _(Why not give up?)._ Don't panic. _(Panic…)._ Wrench open the door and half stumble down the stairs, blood still trickling down his wrist. Bumping into walls and staggering down the hallways. _**Murderer.**_ No. _(That's not true and you know it.)._ Get out. _**I will always find you.**_ __Out! Please! Get out, _(No.)_ , go away… _**Coward. You don't deserve her.**_

Grip the railings tight, squeezing with all his strength. Pain. He is rushing through the doors and sprinting away. No one pays him attention. _(And they won't until it's too late. That's how you win affection)._ His back is against the wall of a random alleyway and he is panting hard. He easily blends in with the darkness around him until he is merely a shadow in the background. Dizziness. With ears ringing and eyes distant _(Stay with me)_ he slid into a crumpled heap on the ground. _**You will pay.**_ __On his knees with hair in his face _(Black like the Darkness, like the Night)_ and gunpowder lit within his veins he tasted poison on his lips as the ground rushes up to meet him the final time.

 _ **You killed her.**_

 _(Never wake up…)_


	2. Chapter 2

Hi! Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed and liked my story. Here is chapter 2 (finally). I'm open to constructive criticism and suggestions!

-Sara

* * *

She floats. Flickers back and forth. Her angel disappears out the window, she doesn't even notice. Her body is smoke and mist. She blinks hard. _This is my choice._ Pictures. Memories rush past her eyes. _Asriel._ Those beautiful heart-breaking _(sadsadsad)_ eyes that pleaded with her to stop. She didn't listen, rebelling against every instinct in her body, painfully dragging the words out. She begged him to lift the gun and pull the trigger, her vision blurry. Clenches hands into fists, nails dig into flesh. Is it still flesh? Flesh and blood? Deep breaths. Calm… She is not breathing, not at all. No. No, no no no. Angel? Left. Her? _(notherneverher)_ **Heaven and Hell…** Dead. The realization hits her like a sledgehammer and she stumbles back, eyes wide. Does she still have eyes? Eyes like the blue of ocean, like the blue of the sky, like ice-cold yet warm, eyes like her angel… Her angel. Mouth drops open, jaw slack. She left him there, no goodbyes, nothing. Regret pools in her heart. She's heavy-the guilt of her heart, the shame of her conscience. She doesn't deserve him. Nobody deserves him. **Mine.**

She blinks. **Jophiel blinks. Looks around.** Who? **Am I?** She jolts as if electrocuted, her fist clenches tight she digs blood and her knuckles whiten. Then she's not there anymore, not in their bedroom with mismatched furniture, not in their- _his_ cosy little apartment the oven still baking, not through the window which he climbed out of. _How did I know that?_

The opening tunes of 'Hey, Jude' echoing out the Gas-n-Sip has her collapsing on the side of the road, as if she's a puppet and her strings had been cut. _(I'vegotnostringsonme)_ Her tears pour down her face _(thinkrivers)_ and she curls in on herself, protection from the memory or the cold she didn't know. **Heart on the pure snow, ripped out. It hurts.** _It hurts but I don't know why._ The burning image of Ca- _him_ holding a bloody heart, expression sombre and solemn as he looks at her churns her stomach. Hatred bubbles up her throat. She bares her teeth, stands up on shaky legs and wobbles her way to the door of the Gas-n-Sip. Nobody gives her a second glance: the pale brunette wearing a blue t-shirt _(angelblue)_ and silk shorts shivering as she opens the door. Her teeth chatters. She is pathetic. _Not like Sam, can never be Sammy._ **Or Michael.** She pales even further. The toilet door bangs against the wall. She locks the door. **The Angels have fallen.** The miniscule mirror cracks under her fist. In the reflection she can see blue eyes staring back at her. **Yes.**


End file.
